As parents, it can be easy to just stick to the daily grind and work as a smooth team to do whatever is needed for the kids and to keep the house running. However, you are so much more than a team that runs the family, you are not just parents, you are also lovers, friends and partners. And although it is of course necessary to keep the household and the family running, it is also important to find time for each other. Because life as parents can be busy, stressful and chaotic and if you just focus on keeping that family running it might be easy to lose sight of each other and to grow apart. After all, being a good team is one thing, but being a good team consisting of lovers and partners in life is another.
And although it can be tempting to just crash on the couch at night when the kids are asleep and both stare at your phone because you are simply exhausted, for the health of your relationship it is so important to consciously not do that and to stay connected with each other.
So, how can you find time for each other when having kids?
Plan a (weekly) date night
Aim to plan a regular date night and always make time for this night. Put your phones away, have a nice dinner together and talk. It might not always be possible to arrange a babysitter and go out on a date, but try to become champions in doing date nights at home as well. Ordering food in, cooking a good meal together, watching a series together, doing a game night, you name it, it is your date night so you can arrange it however you want. Just make sure that you keep time free for each other on a regular base and to be truly present with each other during that time.
If your kids are still young, they might still take naps. Naptime can be a great time as well to have a nicer lunch together, to have a good talk or to simply crash on the couch as a couple (without phones!) and watch Netflix.
Basically, it doesn’t matter what you do with the little spare time that your kids might allow you, as long as you prioritize spending time together and that you´re fully present during that time.
Enjoy your date night!